de Noche Mayombe! It was, and was not what i expected, but i guess you can say that about virtually anything, right? I was very sad, the Lord and i had another talk, i wasn't as rude in this talk as i was previously, but i did take the opportunity to shove a few things in the suggestion box. i love my jonah so much. i found the pump handle with very little difficulty. he knows what kind of piles i do not tolerate in the front of the wood stove. basically, any, to be precise. I immediately throw anything in that area out the front door, as standard operating procedure, of course.anyone that loves me understands this. im a scorpio and i DO NOT APOLOGIZE. so he simply put it in the middle of the floor with a pile of mixed laundry and trash bags. no one found it and stole it, which was the point, and i found it within 5 minutes of being home cause i just had to chuck the shit in front of the stove out the door. then i forgot to clean out the friggin' stovepipe first, so the 4ft pile of smoldering nest was just lovely. i at least used the damn nest to start the next fire, little motherfuckers. my baby had the foresite to grease and seal the leather gaskets in the hand pump, so it would work when i returned to it. there was still a stack of firewood for me. that was him, he always did things like that to save me work, and knowing what important things i would space out.
i was amused as hell when a friend that brought me would try to rig up a counterweight system to make pumping easier (300 ft. or iron rod), and then found that the counterweights would knock the hell out of him,hehe. lifes little pleasures. i was pleased to see that after 3 years i had not lost my pumpin' muscles. they are special muscles that city dwellers do not have. sometimes the only way thru the woodpile is one peice at a time. the cabin had been went thru, but thankfully the things that were important to me are not important to others, so everything i hoped for was still there, and it came back with me. my large box of porno mags that had been hidden had been found, and went thru very thourouly, dozens of times. hm.... the only neighbors within a hike distance has two 13 year old boys....?? see, there is one in every woodpile! lol. its strange, in jonah dying, i forgot almost everything i had at all. i was so surprised to find so much of my life in one place. thats when i decided to reclaim my life there. not move back right now, but i repaired the adobe and did the needed maintenance for such a home. i plan to finish it the way we had envisioned. if i didn't need to go back to a job,
i could have stayed in the mountains and never came out. i had 3 nights of quiet and peaceful sleep, reading late nite and listening to coast to coast on the radio by lantern, listening to the pack of coyotes, throwing wood at the mice. i burned some candles and burned some sage, and some frankincense. cooked food on the wood stove like normal. had a pee in the middle of the night in the sagebrush with the full moon riding high and bright, and it 20 degrees. pulls the sack up tight boys! Collected some sacred sticks i needed, and some mahogany leaves for tea. num num. i don't feel normal, but i don't know that i feel bad, i mostly feel surreal, truly like i live in two worlds. and it did clarify a few other things too.
like men, ha ha. i don't really trick around, i require a man that is comfortable in both enviroments. ain't gonna happen quick, if ever, so i have a more realistic view, and that is to just not give a shit, and on the rare event that god would drop ship someone that would like that, well the old goat knows where to find me.i left my address in the suggestions box. so i beleive one of my new little protocols will be that any guy that does want to sleep with me will have to do it first in the woods or its a no go. i know that lowers my probability even more, but if they can't deal with a wood stove i truly know they wouldn't deal with me in the long run, ha ha! so i now have freed up a whole lot of time to become say- an artist or an author, or hell, a potter. one thing that no one could steal from the cabin was jonahs pottery wheel. i forgot that we built in inside that house, that behemoth is not going to fit thru any appurture of that house. so maybe i will try and learn to use his wheel and make clay pagan things. the question- do any of you beleive i smoke tobbaco from a corn cob pipe or not? the dogs got to dig for rats and run free for awhile.
so to end this ramble, i don't really know how i
feel, it is a thing i have never encountered, and for once, i don't really have the words right now to descibe it, but i understand my soul better.