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Friday, November 03, 2006
My Life Is A Teen Soap Opera
| My Life Is A Teen Soap OperaI
feel that with everything that has been going on in my life, it is only
right to actually document it here in this journal. If anybody actually
rads this, HI! And when you see a pretty black woman on a podium come
2028, telling the world how she's going to be the first woman and the
first black president of the USA and how she's going to help the
country become number 1 again, the least you can do is tell people that
you knew her. Or at the very least, read her journal. YAY.
Anyways, I shall start from the very beginning.
As
you all know I met my dearest Tyler on the internet. We exchanged phone
numbers and talked for the first time three Saturdays ago. It was very
awkward, because we both are very new to this serious romance thing,
but overall it wasn't bad. I asked him out two days later, so it
couldn't have been awful right?
So then two Saturdays ago, I had
a date with Tyler. Of course, it was only a phone date, because we
can't very well travel 8 hours for one date. So I called him at 8
o'clock, because we were wacthing Secret of the Fire Nation together.
And it was a very satisfying date, if I must say. ;) So even if my friend Zannah doesn't think a phone date counts as an actual one, I
do. And Tyler, that's all that matters. And then I asked him if he
would be my boyfriend. ^_^ HE SAID YES, Y'ALL. HA! We had another date
last Friday, but that one didn't go so well, if I have to be honest.
Too much silence and not enough talking.
That next week was
filled with virtual makeouts, lots of love declarations, and the like.
I got bored really quickly of that, but it was fun so i kept doing it.
BUT. (always the annoying BUT, dammit)
I felt like our flame was dying, as fast.
Those makeouts were getting pretty serious and we were moving
too quickly. And I still didn't know him very well, so what did I tell
him? I told him that I wanted to stop with the virtual makeouts and
just have decent conversations with each other, kepping the kisses to a
minimum. Ever since then (last Friday, I think) we haven't really
talked. No emails, no calls, no anything. OUCH.
Meanwhile, my
surrogate brother has been becoming way too touchy-feely for my tastes.
I mean, I'm in a relationship idiot- does that mean anything to you???
We're not blood related and hell, we haven't even met in real life, but
i still consider you a brother and you can't be flirting with me every
other IM, okay? I mean, I love the attention, I'm not even going to lie, but WTH??? I don't need fifty million kissy emoticons, do I??? NOPE.
And
then there is Aaron. We're okay friends, not really close but we talk
sometimes. Here comes my friend Teddy- OH YOU KNOW SAMARIA, AARON LIKES
YOU.
*blink*
Thanks, Teddy, that is exactly what I want to hear when I'm having boy trouble.
He
says it every single day and I can't tell if Aaron does like me because
he only talks to me at random. Psh... But Teddy never lies to me...so...
Speaking
of Teddy, he's my ex boyfriend. The romance thing didn't work out too
well between us (never did, never shall!), but he's still one of my
best friends. I love him to death. We have the leads in the school play
and we always sit with our two other friends during rehearsal. Well, on
Monday, we were sitting against this wall and Teddy leaned against me.
I don't care (it's only Teddy) about this, No Big Deal. Turns
out, Teddy has the softest hair ever. So here comes this kid named
Davin. Davin took one look at us and freaked out, lol. Me and Teddy
started cracking up. Good times...
On another note, my friend
Alexys got dumped. Poor thing...she's miserable. Writing poems and
everything. *sigh* I'm gonna kill that boy...whoever he is.
And
you know what may be the worst thing in my social life right now? My
friend Valerie thinks that I hate her. I'M SERIOUS. So all of those
inside jokes and secrets mean nothing to her??? I even managed to get
my grandmother to let me spend the night at er house! THAT IS A BIG
THING. My grandmother hates having me around people she doesn't know.
Here's the email...
hey..
i no i never really get to talk to u cuz ur always wit alexy and Teddy
but I feel like u hate me because you barely talk to me and ignore me
alot. I feel like ur like not tryin to be my best friend and just tryin
to only be a friend... i iunderstand that you also want to be with ur
other friends and not always Steph, me and ali but i feel u spend
almost everday with them and like barely even hang out as much as u use
to.. Im not trying to offend you or anything i just wanna work this out
bcuz its really bothering me and i dont wanna ruin our friendship... can u email me back or talk to me about this at school k ttyl valerie
Ali,
my good trusty Ali, told me that she's declaring war on me. JUST
BECAUSE I DIDN'T SIT WITH HER AT LUNCH. Val, I have a life of my own
outside of the 8th grade. Maybe you should get one, too. Geez...what
did I do wrong? She ignored me today, AFTER she told me that she wanted
to talk, so Ali must not be lying. Okay then, two can play this *petty*
game. We'll see who wins in the end. |
Posted at 01:20 pm by energyball
Permalink
Monday, October 30, 2006
F@cking at the Mall of America
One day while in the
Mall of America...i know a few restrooms that i like...and when I went
in one of them...just to pee of coarse...I noticed the boy next to me
stroking himself in the urinal...well I just couldn't let the poor
little boy go unsatisfied..so i reached over and grabed his dick...he
turned and looked at me...then down at my now fully erecticed 8"s...I
could see in his eyes..he was a submissive boy...so I said...Little
boy,u will do as i as I say...i will be your owner...and you will take
your clothes off...and i don't care who is watching...coz i just wanna
fuck ur tight little boy ass on the sink...i want u to squirm and beg
for more...and if the guys r watching,,,well they will just have to
jack off...coz you are my little boy..and only i will fuck u hard...and
i will make them guys wish they were me....I put his little boy naked
body on the sink...and started pounding his sweet little boy ass with
all my hard 8"s, of little boy ass pounding pleasure...I pinned him up
against the mirrors..and my huge throbbing cock thrusting all the way
in and all the way out of his tight supple little boy ass..and my lips
wraped around his hot nipples...his legs up on my shoulders...thrusting
harder and harder...fucking him ..makeing him want more and fucking him
all the more harder...omg...you make me so hard...and you r my little
boy...he knows it as i say....u want it deeper little boy?...he pleads
and begs for me to go deeper and harder...i think the mirrow behind him
is about to break..coz of the force of my cock ramming his hot tight
little boy ass...but i cant stop...he begged me for more...and that
excites me beyond belife...so i continue to fuck him hard and
long...guys are gathering and watching...wishing they could join
in...and i look into his eyes...and suddenly..i realize...he wants them
to...omg the climax....he sees in my eyes...that i own him and he knows
i want him to let all the other six guys into him...without saying a
word to him...he simply say yes...and crawls down off the sink...his
sweet naked little boy body...now on his hands and knees on the
floor...his sweet ass sweating as the first guy tops him...he is
hard...not as big as me but he fucks him hard and deep...i am sitting
in front of him...little boy...suck my dick now and don't u whine about
that man fucking you....
sexual bathroom adventures...
Posted at 11:14 am by energyball
Permalink
Sunday, October 15, 2006
Home Landing, or, The Burning of Effigies
...I got back from my surreal trip thru time this last
week. It was as strong of an experience as LSD was for me as a corrupt
youth. I will probably just rattle here rather than make sense; so if
your comments aren't nice i WILL spank your ass. Its my season and i am
friggin' back from the friggin' Mountain-La Montana!!!! Pero, Buenas
Noches, Si Son
de Noche Mayombe! It was, and was not what i
expected, but i guess you can say that about virtually anything, right?
I was very sad, the Lord and i had another talk, i wasn't as rude in
this talk as i was previously, but i did take the opportunity to shove
a few things in the suggestion box. i love my jonah so much. i found
the pump handle with very little difficulty. he knows what kind of
piles i do not tolerate in the front of the wood stove. basically, any,
to be precise. I immediately throw anything in that area out the front
door, as standard operating procedure, of course.anyone that loves me
understands this. im a scorpio and i DO NOT APOLOGIZE. so he simply put
it in the middle of the floor with a pile of mixed laundry and trash
bags. no one found it and stole it, which was the point, and i found it
within 5 minutes of being home cause i just had to chuck the shit in
front of the stove out the door. then i forgot to clean out the
friggin' stovepipe first, so the 4ft pile of smoldering nest was just
lovely. i at least used the damn nest to start the next fire, little
motherfuckers. my baby had the foresite to grease and seal the leather
gaskets in the hand pump, so it would work when i returned to it. there
was still a stack of firewood for me. that was him, he always did
things like that to save me work, and knowing what important things i
would space out.
i was amused as hell when a friend that brought me
would try to rig up a counterweight system to make pumping easier (300
ft. or iron rod), and then found that the counterweights would knock
the hell out of him,hehe. lifes little pleasures. i was pleased to see
that after 3 years i had not lost my pumpin' muscles. they are special
muscles that city dwellers do not have. sometimes the only way thru the
woodpile is one peice at a time. the cabin had been went thru, but
thankfully the things that were important to me are not important to
others, so everything i hoped for was still there, and it came back
with me. my large box of porno mags that had been hidden had been
found, and went thru very thourouly, dozens of times. hm.... the only
neighbors within a hike distance has two 13 year old boys....?? see,
there is one in every woodpile! lol. its strange, in jonah dying, i
forgot almost everything i had at all. i was so surprised to find so
much of my life in one place. thats when i decided to reclaim my life
there. not move back right now, but i repaired the adobe and did the
needed maintenance for such a home. i plan to finish it the way we had
envisioned. if i didn't need to go back to a job,
i could have
stayed in the mountains and never came out. i had 3 nights of quiet and
peaceful sleep, reading late nite and listening to coast to coast on
the radio by lantern, listening to the pack of coyotes, throwing wood
at the mice. i burned some candles and burned some sage, and some
frankincense. cooked food on the wood stove like normal. had a pee in
the middle of the night in the sagebrush with the full moon riding high
and bright, and it 20 degrees. pulls the sack up tight boys! Collected
some sacred sticks i needed, and some mahogany leaves for tea. num num.
i don't feel normal, but i don't know that i feel bad, i mostly feel
surreal, truly like i live in two worlds. and it did clarify a few
other things too.
like men, ha ha. i don't really trick around, i
require a man that is comfortable in both enviroments. ain't gonna
happen quick, if ever, so i have a more realistic view, and that is to
just not give a shit, and on the rare event that god would drop ship
someone that would like that, well the old goat knows where to find
me.i left my address in the suggestions box. so i beleive one of my new
little protocols will be that any guy that does want to sleep with me
will have to do it first in the woods or its a no go. i know that
lowers my probability even more, but if they can't deal with a wood
stove i truly know they wouldn't deal with me in the long run, ha ha!
so i now have freed up a whole lot of time to become say- an artist or
an author, or hell, a potter. one thing that no one could steal from
the cabin was jonahs pottery wheel. i forgot that we built in inside
that house, that behemoth is not going to fit thru any appurture of
that house. so maybe i will try and learn to use his wheel and make
clay pagan things. the question- do any of you beleive i smoke tobbaco
from a corn cob pipe or not? the dogs got to dig for rats and run free
for awhile.
so to end this ramble, i don't really know how i
feel,
it is a thing i have never encountered, and for once, i don't really
have the words right now to descibe it, but i understand my soul better.
Posted at 01:59 pm by energyball
Permalink
Saturday, October 14, 2006
When you have a good friend like David, and you chat with him, you never know what the subject is going to be.
I
don't recall what we started to talk about, but it must have had to do
with spelling (no not how bad mine is), David had commented, why is not
"Y" a vowel. Hmm, said I, I wonder how many words do not have a vowel
within them.
David, being the wise man that he is, said, it must be a lot.(just joking, David is super smart).
Well that bring me to this blog.
Jason
and I were talking about vowels and words that do not have a vowel,
little Jassy, Jason's son started to name a few, the kid is going to be
8 years old on November 11th.
Jason left for a few minutes, he
came back with the "Webster's New Dictionary" of the English Language,
he told Jassy and I to have fun and went shopping.
Okay, so if we eliminate abbreviations and symbols, I came up with 31 words, correction, Jassy and I came up with 31 words.
This is another silly blog, but try and think of what words you can come up with.
Thanks for getting this far, and remember,
Take care and be kind to each other.
Posted at 05:31 am by energyball
Permalink
Thursday, October 12, 2006
| So first off a little story about what I did last night.
Me
and my hot roomate had some friends of mine over last night, a couple
guys and a couple girls for some drinks and a movie. Well, halfway
through our evening my roomie comes over to me and says "Hey, that
Julie girl is pretty cute and I think she likes you, you should hit
that!"
And of course, I respond with the requisite, yeah,
probably, we'll see. (translated: no, I don't wanna fuck a girl right
now, especially a friend)
But ok, as the night progresses,
somehow the three of us ended up sprawled on the couch during the
movie. It was pretty much an Alex sandwich, wich was a little wierd for
me, but what the hell.
La dee da, the evening continues, we're
drunk, my guy friends leave. So its just me, the roomie, and the 2
girls. Roomate says goodnight, goes into his room, girls immediatly
start talking about how "fucking hot" he is. (it's true so I don't
blame them) So then Julie, gets up, walks into my roomates bedroom and
they had sex. All night. (mind you, she just met him tonight, and has
never done anything like this before and isn't a slut) Then the other
girl gets on the phone with one of the guys who just left and starts
talking about how much she wants to date him.
Here I sit. All the fuck alone. Hating myself.
Now, there are several things that anger me, and a couple of points I want to make.
1)
I'm not mad that Julie and my roomie had sex. I didn't want to sleep
with her, and he did. I'm mad that he would suggest she might like me
and that I should sleep with her, and then he does it. Nice,
Thanks!!!!!
2) I hate the fact that I'm not jealous of him. I'm jealous of her. I want him. Can't have him. But such is life.
3)
I have shown no animosity toward either of them. However, my roomie has
been walking on pins and nails all day as if I must be upset with him.
Any normal straight guy would be pissed. Should I pretend to be so my
facade is plausible?
4) I miss being as beautiful as he is. I
haven't been able to get someone to want me just because I look so good
in years, and I'm only 20. What the hell?
5) Its SOOOOOO hard to
be closeted. I don't want to do it anymore. But I'm not coming out. I
want to just be straight. Maybe I can be? Maybe I should just stop
being gay. Maybe?
And thats how that went. I'm going to bed now, its gonna be a hard week.
Goodbye |
Posted at 12:15 pm by energyball
Permalink
Giving and Taking and Trusting
At the alt site there's a LOT of guys into bondage. I
don't get it really. I don't judge anybody--there's a lot of things I
like that people think are weird. And if Dave ever wanted to tie me up
it I'd do it because I'd do just about anything he wants. But that's
really the whole point--he wouldn't ever NEED to tie me up because he
can do anything he wants to me anyway. Its not like I'm going to run
away or something.
Part of wanting to be with a dominant guy is
that I like the feeling that he owns me and takes me and uses me the
way HE wants, gentle or rough. But also part of what makes me horny
about being submissive is that I am GIVING myself to him Its like a way
of saying "I trust you". And if he tied me up it would be like I don't
get the chance to give myself to him. It would be like he's saying, "I
have to tie you up because I'm going to do things to you that you won't
want" And my point is that I want to SHOW him that ANYTHING he wants is
something I want, BECAUSE he wants it. I belong to him.
Do any
top guys here like to tie their boy up? Do you tie your boy up because
otherwise he wouldn't let you do things you want? Does he like it too?
Posted at 11:57 am by energyball
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