Home Landing, or, The Burning of Effigies
...I got back from my surreal trip thru time this last
week. It was as strong of an experience as LSD was for me as a corrupt
youth. I will probably just rattle here rather than make sense; so if
your comments aren't nice i WILL spank your ass. Its my season and i am
friggin' back from the friggin' Mountain-La Montana!!!! Pero, Buenas
Noches, Si Son
de Noche Mayombe! It was, and was not what i
expected, but i guess you can say that about virtually anything, right?
I was very sad, the Lord and i had another talk, i wasn't as rude in
this talk as i was previously, but i did take the opportunity to shove
a few things in the suggestion box. i love my jonah so much. i found
the pump handle with very little difficulty. he knows what kind of
piles i do not tolerate in the front of the wood stove. basically, any,
to be precise. I immediately throw anything in that area out the front
door, as standard operating procedure, of course.anyone that loves me
understands this. im a scorpio and i DO NOT APOLOGIZE. so he simply put
it in the middle of the floor with a pile of mixed laundry and trash
bags. no one found it and stole it, which was the point, and i found it
within 5 minutes of being home cause i just had to chuck the shit in
front of the stove out the door. then i forgot to clean out the
friggin' stovepipe first, so the 4ft pile of smoldering nest was just
lovely. i at least used the damn nest to start the next fire, little
motherfuckers. my baby had the foresite to grease and seal the leather
gaskets in the hand pump, so it would work when i returned to it. there
was still a stack of firewood for me. that was him, he always did
things like that to save me work, and knowing what important things i
would space out.
i was amused as hell when a friend that brought me
would try to rig up a counterweight system to make pumping easier (300
ft. or iron rod), and then found that the counterweights would knock
the hell out of him,hehe. lifes little pleasures. i was pleased to see
that after 3 years i had not lost my pumpin' muscles. they are special
muscles that city dwellers do not have. sometimes the only way thru the
woodpile is one peice at a time. the cabin had been went thru, but
thankfully the things that were important to me are not important to
others, so everything i hoped for was still there, and it came back
with me. my large box of porno mags that had been hidden had been
found, and went thru very thourouly, dozens of times. hm.... the only
neighbors within a hike distance has two 13 year old boys....?? see,
there is one in every woodpile! lol. its strange, in jonah dying, i
forgot almost everything i had at all. i was so surprised to find so
much of my life in one place. thats when i decided to reclaim my life
there. not move back right now, but i repaired the adobe and did the
needed maintenance for such a home. i plan to finish it the way we had
envisioned. if i didn't need to go back to a job,
i could have
stayed in the mountains and never came out. i had 3 nights of quiet and
peaceful sleep, reading late nite and listening to coast to coast on
the radio by lantern, listening to the pack of coyotes, throwing wood
at the mice. i burned some candles and burned some sage, and some
frankincense. cooked food on the wood stove like normal. had a pee in
the middle of the night in the sagebrush with the full moon riding high
and bright, and it 20 degrees. pulls the sack up tight boys! Collected
some sacred sticks i needed, and some mahogany leaves for tea. num num.
i don't feel normal, but i don't know that i feel bad, i mostly feel
surreal, truly like i live in two worlds. and it did clarify a few
other things too.
like men, ha ha. i don't really trick around, i
require a man that is comfortable in both enviroments. ain't gonna
happen quick, if ever, so i have a more realistic view, and that is to
just not give a shit, and on the rare event that god would drop ship
someone that would like that, well the old goat knows where to find
me.i left my address in the suggestions box. so i beleive one of my new
little protocols will be that any guy that does want to sleep with me
will have to do it first in the woods or its a no go. i know that
lowers my probability even more, but if they can't deal with a wood
stove i truly know they wouldn't deal with me in the long run, ha ha!
so i now have freed up a whole lot of time to become say- an artist or
an author, or hell, a potter. one thing that no one could steal from
the cabin was jonahs pottery wheel. i forgot that we built in inside
that house, that behemoth is not going to fit thru any appurture of
that house. so maybe i will try and learn to use his wheel and make
clay pagan things. the question- do any of you beleive i smoke tobbaco
from a corn cob pipe or not? the dogs got to dig for rats and run free
for awhile.
so to end this ramble, i don't really know how i
feel,
it is a thing i have never encountered, and for once, i don't really
have the words right now to descibe it, but i understand my soul better.
Posted at 01:59 pm by energyball
